Thoughtful Thursday: A Distorted Perception

Thursday, February 9th, 2017

A Distorted Perception

My monthly New Braunfels Photographic Society Club meeting is coming up on Monday and this month’s theme is “Distorted.” We could distort the image in camera using a variety of technical choices or distort in post-processing which is what I chose to do.

As most of you know, I’ve been working on overcoming my anxiety. I’ve been seeing my therapist and reading books. I’ve been using self-portraits as a way to be introspective and to push myself to grow. When I look in the mirror, I see a distorted perception, a reflection that isn’t accurate. I pick apart faults… my nose is crooked, my upper lip is getting too thin, those wrinkles are more pronounced, look at all that gray hair, my face is too asymmetrical, just how many chins can one woman have?… it’s shameful. I shame myself.

Shame is what keeps me in anxiety and misperception. I’m reading Dr. Brené Brown‘s I Thought It Was Just Me which is all about how shame keeps us from living an authentic life. I am changing this. I’ve been journaling. Someday I may will share my stories. I spent some time yesterday in front of my camera, alone, and made myself feel pretty. Some day I may will have the confidence to share some of those images. Until then, I will be kinder to myself.

New Braunfels self-portrait photographer

Nikon D750 | 85mm | f/3.2 | 1/250 | ISO 200 | tripod with wifi-enabled remote shutter release

If you live with anxiety, insecurity, perfectionism, or shame, read Dr. Brené Brown. You are worth it. Thanks for looking!

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